Pulmonary Embolism

I would like to thank everyone for your prayers and thoughts. They were definitely felt and Allison & I know that my quick recovery and my life's preservation at this time is truly a miracle.

Because of the cancer, I had a blood clot that had built up in my leg, and as I was getting up to bed, it broke up and part of it went thru my heart into my lungs; a Pulmonary Embolism. I passed out and stopped breathing for a minute or two; definitely scaring Allison and all. We rushed to the ER and they found out what the deal was. The clot built up the same time as the cancer and now I'm on blood thinners for 6-10 months. I was in the hospital from then until late Sat, building back my strength, recuperating, and waiting for labs, and so on. What a miserable place (though I'm VERY grateful for caring attendants and that there is a place for recuperation).

Winston flew in on Wed, and of course, had to be picked up by extended family members and our reunion for all was at my hospital bedside. Spencer and Caroline both had finals all week. Allison wouldn't leave my side; obviously. She slept in the chair at the hospital every night. I was awake and up the whole time, just waiting for strength to come back and things to equalize. The doctors are surprised that I am not light-headed much, and that I am as strong as I am. (Good genes!)

I'm home now, feel MUCH better; my strength is increasing daily. I have to have O2 for a few weeks as the clots in the lungs dissipate and my lung capacity expands in other areas. I have my LAST chemotherapy tomorrow morning! I will have a CT scan in mid-January to see the results of that. I'm still being told to return to work and more activity in Jan. It will need to be slow and gradual, but my isolation will be ending. My immunities are returning quickly. Oh, I never fully lost all my hair! I became quite thin, and in fact, nothing has grown for 6-8 weeks. I've not shaved for weeks. I'm told that it will begin to grow back in 4-8 months. My eyelashes are much thinner even. I've attached three small pictures. One of them is lunch on chemo day. You'll see the IV coming out my shirt (into my port). The other two are last Fri in the hospital. I think I actually look better in the hospital shot! I think that's because the hardest chemo was over two weeks ago, and I'm on O2 and rested, etc.

I keep telling myself and everyone, I don't want this illness to be about me, but about what I can do for others. I have found great joy and satisfaction in writing letters of encouragement to people (fellow ward members,etc,) and it has made this road so much easier to travel. I truly know that we are blessed; especially in looking at others and their trials, etc. May the Lord continue to bless all of you and yours.

Merry Christmas!

I'm Home!

What a great feeling!

More to follow!

Hospital

I'm doing better each day. Hopefully home in a day or two.

Thank you for all the prayers.

Will update when I can.

Chemo - 3 of 3

I've completed nearly ALL of my chemotherapy! I just finished the last of the three week rounds and have a small treatment tomorrow and next Monday; and then I'm DONE! I'm so excited; in case you cannot tell! I feel quite well, just a bit tired; but could do without the metallic taste! Oh well, it too will pass!

In talking with the doctor, I plan to return to work on Jan 4 and will have a follow-up CT Scan late January. Then we'll know the full results of the treatment. We, of course, expect it all to be in remission due to this treatment! I'll let you know at that time!

I want you all to know that your prayers, letters, thoughts, and concerns have been truly felt. Thank you all for your notes on the Thanksgiving Card sent from California. It meant alot to me. I pray for each of you in your family pursuits.

May the Christmas season be a joyous one for each of you this year!

Jesus Christ, Our Savior and Redeemer

As we approach the Christmas season, and being a recent recipient of many Christ-like charitable acts, my thoughts turn to the most perfect example of love and kindness: Jesus Christ, Our Savior and Redeemer.

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

Christ gave his life and through the Atonement we can all feel of His perfect love. It is up to us to share that love. Many of us do not realize the lasting effect we can have on the lives of others.

President Thomas S. Monson reminded us in our most recent General Conference: “My brothers and sisters, we are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness—be they family members, friends, acquaintances, or strangers. We are the Lord’s hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is dependent upon each of us.”

There are many things that we can all do that show Christ-like love to our fellowman; making us the means by which others can feel of His perfect love and atoning sacrifice:


• Write a letter or card or e-mail
• Do Home and Visiting Teaching
• Share the message of the Gospel with others – both members and non-members
• Bake a treat or dessert
• Call someone on the phone
• Pray sincerely for and with others
• Attend the temple – Doing Baptisms for the Dead and other Temple Ordinances brings Eternal Salvation to those who are unable to for themselves
• Make a meal or just a favorite dish for your family
• Tell others how much you care

Let us allow the Spirit of this Christmas Season to make a lasting change in our lives that we may touch the lives of others with His Love and Kindness always is my prayer.

Thanksgiving

What would Thanksgiving be if you didn't thank everyone who is so kind and gracious. I'm not going to try and name everyone; because I know I'll miss someone.

I've received many kind and supportive phone calls from so many loving neighbors and friends. Some have had cancer and truly understand that aspect of what I'm going through; the thoughts, feelings, struggles, etc. They remind me of the fact that I'm not alone in this struggle; that many and most people survive, especially the cancer that I have.

I have even my home teaching families call me to see how I'm doing; that's a nice twist. I think I've had more contact with them than any others, and more so than I have when I've been "well." My home teachers have called to check on me and fluff me up and to just let me know that they are thinking of me and concerned.

My wife has passed on greetings from people at church and their expresssions of genuine concern for me and all of us.

So, to all of you who have offered prayers, words of kindness and concern, and even a fleeting thought concerning my well-being: thank you, thank you, thank you! May the Lord bless you all in your righteous endeavors, always.

Chemo - 2 of 3

I'm currently doing quite well. I have completed my second of three full weeks of chemotherapy. I have a Monday and Monday of bleomycin, then another full week, and two more Mondays. I have been quite healthy. My hair is MUCH thinner (everywhere), but I haven't lost it all yet. Time will tell.

Allison and the kids are so supportive and kind. Allison has been to every single one of my chemo rounds; they take 4-6 hours each day. I'm so lucky in that so many people have someone drop them off, and then come back. Some of the poor folks are so forlorn and worn and tired. I keep reminding myself how blessed I am to have such a curable illness and a set date. What a blessing!

I'm blessed in that I'm able to do lots of work from home. I've been able to get in most of my hours and actually get seemingly more done than if I was there being interrrupted by everything.

We're looking forward to a nice week of Thanksgiving. Winston is flying home this Wednesday until Sunday. We'll disinfect him and he'll be able to join us for a few days, before heading back to the grind. He's so excited to be here for a few days and we're excited to see him after a few months away. I'm hoping and praying that my strength will hold up as it has so that he'll not see me miserable or too tired or worn. I think it will do us all good just to be together!

Winston will be escorting Spencer thru the temple this coming Saturday as he recieves his endowments. I'm sorry that I am not able to attend; can't be around people, but I'm so glad that Winston and Spencer will have that memory together to share.

I hope that you are all doing well. I understand how hard it is for many of you with your many life trials. Bless your hearts and your families for your efforts and desire to serve each other so faithfully throughout. I have truly learned empathy in this little trial I have. I say little trial because that's what I truly feel that it is. I have a set timeframe and the true faith that this is just a little blip on the whole road. We will truly overcome with the Lord's help and be on our merry way and have this all behind us very soon.

May the Lord continue to bless and keep you and yours. Thanks!

(Happy???) Birthday

OK, what a day, what a week!?!! My birthday was Wednesday, Nov 4 and I turned 49 this year. It was also the day that Spencer opened his mission call!

After my first week of chemotherapy, I had been a bit tired from that first week, having treatments every day. Finding veins each day was tough, so on Friday, Oct 30, I had a port put in to my chest to ease the daily treatment process. That wasn't too bad and proved to be a blessing. Halloween was spent recuperating from that, as well as trick-or-treating that night. Allison had made some delicious home-made chili and I probably, as usual, at too much (Interesting side note: I love that chili, and many people say that sometimes you never want to eat again what you ate during chemotherapy. I still crave it, but we've never taken the time or opportunity to make it since then, over 1 and 1/2 years later. Hmm.) Anyway, as we were going to bed, Allison was on the phone visiting with Winston when Caroline and Spencer came in quite serious and reported that the beta fish had died. We had gotten the little guy from a roommate of Caroline's and Stewart was thrilled with it. I was way too tired to do anything, so I instructed them to take it downstairs and so they did, having a 'moment of silence' to honor it. OK.

In the mail on Wednesday, Spencer's mission call arrived. He wanted to be ceremonial about it, so we drove up to Provo and went to Panda Express. Everybody ordered something they wanted for dinner. We then drove over to the Provo Temple and sat on the lawn just outside the temple grounds. That was when he opened his call and announced that he was going to the Thailand Bangkok Mission! What a neat surprise. He was very pleased and excited and nervous all in one. What a neat way to kick off my 50th year.

On Thursday, I was really feeling tired. I just laid on the sofa all day, sleeping and sitting and thinking and dozing and not doing anything. By the end of the day, I had actually felt quite rotten and exhausted.

By Friday, I felt a bit better, but was still exhausted. It was nice to have the week behind me. There were definitely some highs and lows and in looking back, it was probably the worst I felt that week, though there were other days, especially with my pulmonary embolism a month later, where my health was actually poorer.

Chemo - 1 of 3

Today was my first day of Chemotherapy. I must be the luckiest, most blessed man alive.

I have three week-long rounds of chemo, and then I'm done by Christmas. Everybody I met and visited with today have longer rounds, some don't even have end dates! Allison and I visited with two sisters who were there for each other; one was getting chemo for a rare cancer that the tumors keep growing back, the other had just finished a four year round of steroid therapy. Another lady has anemia, she's not sure exactly what kind, or what the source is, but she was there and will continue until they figure something out. Her husband had had colon cancer, as well as three open heart surgeries! The last lady we visited with had breast cancer and seems to need chemotherapy for about 4 months. So, if anyone hears from me "poor me, pity me," slap me and remind me of my blessings, my lovely, super-supportive wife and children, and my diagnosis of a curable disease! All of that is direct blessings of the Lord, His grace and mercy taking place in my life (& my family's).

OK, so all was not fun and games today. The first try for a vein was not successful, but they were able to get the second try; however, they couldn't get the blood draw out of that vein so they had to draw blood a few minutes later from somewhere else. Mostly I was just too tense to start the morning, but things settled down and worked fine after that. They left the IV in for overnight and we'll see how it goes for a few days.

I was juiced up with about 5-6 different IV bags. There was just saline to hydrate me abit. Then, I had some drugs that are to settle the nausea and other reactions. They also did potassiam since one of the drugs affects my kidneys. Finally, they started with one of the main drugs, after that, they gave me a test dosage of the one I have every Monday and I had NO adverse reactions. Then the main, long 2-3 hour drip of Cistplatin, and finally, the rest of the test dosage. We had arrived at 9am and left just after 4pm. The rest of the week should go much quicker, probably only until about 1pm. I read some, played solitaire, surfed the Internet, and read my email. (I had to go the bathroom a number of times, and for a long time!)

I got home and took my 1/2 hour recommended walk, we had a nice little dinner, and now I'm catching up from the day. Since this is the first day, I still feel good, just tired since we got home, but, after dinner felt much better.

I'll update you with more as time goes on.

A Catch-up Entry

After having the pathology report from my family doctor, I had a follow-up visit with the Urologist on Wed, Oct 7. He also reported the same thing about the pathologist's report, but also stated that I would need a CT Scan in order to fully determine any incidence of cancer. I was scheduled for the scan on Friday morning, and an appointment with an Oncologist on Fri afternoon.

Allison & I went to the CT Scan at the Pioneer Valley Hospital that Friday. I had to drink some 'constrast' drink, so that the CT would show up properly. It wasn't too bad. The IV the nurse gave me went quite well also. I also had a chest xray. We were done by 9am, then waited a few minutes for a copy of the scans.

We were hungry so we got off the freeway at 123rd South and found that the Gandolfo's there was giving away breakfast sandwiches. We bought drinks and had free breakfast. A nice old guy (nutty) sat by us and told us all about his travels, etc.

After we left there, we got a couple of calls. They were from the kids and also from Dr. Hibbert (the Urologist). He was calling to tell me that the CT Scan showed that there was actually some cancer in some lymph nodes and even a small spot on my lung. We weren't sure fully what this meant, but I was not very happy for the next 2-3 hours until we got to visit the Oncologist. His name is Nathan Rich. He actually lives two blocks down the street from us in the next ward. He went to school with Dr. Hibbert and he's very good. (Note: we found out he's VERY good!)

Dr. Rich was very thorough. We met with his nurse practitioner first. She explained what they had found, which we knew. Dr. Rich then came in and spent a fair amount of time with us, explaining the treatment. I will have to undergo Chemotherapy. It will be a week on, two weeks off, and that will happen a total of three times. Basically, I start Oct 26 and will be done Dec 21. I will have an IV daily the three weeks, and then another one every Monday. The drugs are powerful, I will lose my hair, be sleepy, nauseous, etc.

On Sat, we went to meet with Dr. Forbes and reviewed everything with her as well. We feel very positive about the need for the treatment and the outcome. I'm not thrilled, but I'm optimistic. I met with my manager at work, first thing on Monday morning and I will be able to work from home for the whole time. I'll do remote work, as well as some needed training, etc.

We finally had a chance to talk to Winston in depth about the whole thing. He is quite upbeat, as are all the kids. I will not go to work, church, or anywhere, except to the hospital for treatments. I will be in isolation so as to not get any of the respitory illnesses running around now. In fact, Dr. Forbes was able to get us the H1N1 flu vaccine (swine flu) which is unavailable.

Allison and I went to the temple on Thu night. We discussed and visited in the Celestial Room what this all means. I told her, I feel strongly that this is just a small blip. I will come through this with flying colors. It won't be fun, but once I'm through, I will be able to be a much better disciple of Christ, will understand and appreciate his love more fully, and have better empathy for others.

I have set some lofty goals while I'm in isolation: write to the missionaries in our ward. Write to those in our ward who need exra support right now. Write letters to those whom I home teach and expect them to reach and grow; specifically the children. Write more in my journal. Discuss and learn of Christ's atonement and suffering. Read the weekly lessons in Sunday School, Priesthood, the hymns we are singing, etc. I want to be able to help others and show them that the Lord loves us all and is mindful of all of us at all times and in all places. This is my handcart trek; though not near as hard has the pioneers had it. I expect that I will have to be carried forth by angels, as well as by my lovely sweetheart (the best angel I know!).

Allison is such a rock. She is abit weary and today I gave here a blessing of comfort and strength. She is too kind to me and I want to make sure that all is well for her as we progress forward. I love her more than I could have ever imagined. I pray for her and the children constantly and know that they will be strengthened as well.

More to follow...

Chemotherapy

I'll be having chemotherapy starting later this month. I will have a week of daily treatments, then off two weeks. Then do the same twice more. I'll lose my hair, but not my sense of humor. I found out the doctor lives two blocks down the street from me and is a super guy and VERY concerned and proactive. So, this whole thing will be done by Christmas and I'm to work as much as possible and keep active. They told me that walking 30 mins a day increases the healing power.

Thanks for your thoughts and concerns!

Some thoughts on Conf weekend

I thought I'd write down a few things about this latest little personal challenge.

Two weeks ago, I finally decided that I was feeling uncomfortable enough in my privates that something had to be done. I mentioned to Allison that I felt that one side was larger than the other. We called our family doctor, and I described the situation. I had only had fleeting thoughts about the possibility of testicular cancer; nothing ever seriously. She suggested I go to get an ultra sound the next day and it was scheduled through her office. I went to UVRMC in Provo at 9am for a quick exam. By noon, Allison was on the phone to me crying. She said that Dr. Forbes had called that the results were consistent with a serious form of testicular cancer. Immediately, we were trying to contact a Urologist to meet and discuss my options.

Within the hour, Dr. Forbes' office had an appointment for me with a doctor out in Tooele. Right after Allison had called me, Caroline was in my office and I told her the results of the test. I could tell she was calm, but concerned. Spencer had just left my office for a class, so as I left to have Allison pick me up, I went across campus and found him in his class. I motioned for him to come out (he could tell something serious was up) and told him what we knew. I took great comfort in asking him to give me a quick blessing of comfort. We slipped into the only empty room we could quickly find. I felt strongly that things would be OK and was especially calmed in knowing that both Spencer and I drew strength from his giving me the quick blessing. Later, we found out that he had calmly described to Stewart what was going on and assured him that all would be well.

Allison and I rode the hour plus out to Tooele discussing many things. Neither one of us felt that this was so overbearing as to sink us. We both had acted quickly and took the proper steps to deal with it. I had not been able to contact my boss, yet, but had mentioned to my co-worker what was going on. I could tell he was shocked and didn't know what to think or do, but that was OK. He was able to cover what little work we had going on and that is what was important right then.

Once we reached Tooele, we waited, and waited, and waited. Appartenly the doctor had had an emergency and so he was basically about 2-3 hours late. Allison's sister, Carolyn showed up after her work, with her husband, Stan. We discussed some of the possibilities; surgery, radiation and/or chemotherapy, etc. Finally the doctor came in and gave me a quick exam. He had reviewed the ultrasound images and announced that I needed to have my right testicle removed. We would be able to have that done by the end of the week (this was a Tuesday).

Things were moving fast, but in a sort of slow motion. We discussed ths with the kids, mostly just letting them know that things would be alright. We actually hadn't said anything to Winston yet; we needed to talk calmly with him and keep his anxiety low with all of his pressures of studies. I spent the next day talking to many at work. I called my manager who was at home; he had another day off. He gave his full support and told me just to get things taken care of. My direct co-worker was still a bit in shock, but now knew more. I told a couple of other coworkers and then went to visit with the instructor of my one class. I had to drop the class; not knowing what was fully involved in my time constraints.

I had also emailed my brother, Dard. He had had testicular cancer 15 years earlier. I set up a time to call and visit with him. We talked for about a 1/2 hour. I know it was a very good opportunity that we had to visit and be brothers. I then callled Mom and Dad and told them. I got phone calls from a few others as the day went on. I also took a minute and called Winston and told him that I had a 'damaged' testicle and was having quick surgery. I mentioned the possibility of cancer, but downplayed the severity; again to keep his anxiety level low.

My surgery was scheduled for the next day, Thursday; sometime late. Once I got to work, we finally found out that surgery was for mid-afternoon. Allison came and got me and we went over to the hospital. I had a quick blood test, then to a Pre-op room. Allison, Caroline and Annette were able to come in and sit with me. They first started an IV. It went quite well as they used a needle with a pain killer on it. I put on the hospital gown and laid down on the bed. The nurses were very friendly, kind, and informative. I had to mark on my leg with a red sharpie the location and side they were to operate on; no mistakes, please! They tried to describe all the details the best they could. We visted for awhile, and finally at about 3pm, the nurse showed up to take me to the next room. They put a hat on my head and wheeled me into a room where I met the anathesiologist. He is a Bishop of a BYU ward and a nice guy. He injected a drug into my IV which sent me on a little trip. Things got a bit fuzzy from here. I was then wheeled into the operating room. I shifted off the bed onto the operating table, and that's about all I remember.

I remember waking up in the post-op room with Dr. Hibbert over me saying that everything had gone quite well. A nurse came and took a blood test and I just laid there resting for a few minutes as the doctor went out to find Allison and report. They then wheeled me to a recovery room where I sat with Allison, and Carolyn was there, too. I had some ice chips and apple juice. I also had some crackers. I was feeling quite well. They finally removed the IV, fed me a bit more, and after 2 hours I went to the restroom and they sent me home.

I went right to bed and slept most of the night. I was taking an antibiotic every six hours as well as pain medication. I also had ice bags over my incision. I slept quite well. I was able to get around OK. The only soreness was slight pain of the incision. Mid-morning I came downstairs and sat around, reading e-mail, the internet, etc. I dozed off a bit too. Allison was so very attentive to my needs and took good care of me. I sat and slept a lot the first 3-4 days. Needless to say, I didn't go to church on Sunday and just convalesced.

On Wednesday, I felt that I could get back to work and went in about 10 am. I lasted most of the day. Thursday and Friday I was there most of the whole time. It was good to get back to a semi-normal routine. I still tire easily and need to take it really easy. The Dean's Office sent me a nice get-well card. I went down to the office and thanked them.

Thursday, Dr Forbes called to say that she had received the pathology report. I did have a form of testicular cancer - semonoma. It is the least harsh of the cancers and all the cancer was removed. There was no evidence of the cancer spreading anywhere else. I'll have a CT Scan soon to verify and check those results. This was great news and very relieving.

I know that the Lord's Hand is in my life. As I began this little journey last week, I knelt in prayer in my office and told the Lord I would do whatever he had in mind for me. I left it in His hands and he did NOT forsake me. Spencer and Craig gave me a blessing the night before the surgery and I know that the Lord healed me from a more serious illness. I was also able to quickly heal from the surgery and return to work because of His goodness and mercy.

I spent a good deal of time visiting with family and friends and have felt the Lord's goodness through many of them. Friends from my old work, friends from BYU, friends and neighbors from church have all been so willing to give of their time and goodness for me and mine. I know that the Lord has truly blessed me and I will continue to see His hand as I continue on this journey.

Post Surgery

Thank you all for your prayers and well-wishes.

Surgery was Thu afternoon at Utah Valley Reg Med center. It went very well; I actually don't remember it (haha) and I had a great nap! We got home by 10 pm

My pain level is minimal; meds are wonderful. Actually, the surgeon did a great job that right now only the incision is mildly tender. I slept great last night and am able to get up and around quite well. I've been sitting up most of the day; napping, computing, reading, etc. I've been eating just fine and all other functions seem normal. My beautiful wife and children are wonderful about all this and are really helpful.

We go to see the doctor on Oct 7 to see pathology results and will let you know more at that time.

It's a beautiful fall day here in Utah; hope all is well with everyone.

Thanks again, and may the Lord continue to bless us all so bountifully

Cancer?

Sep 23, 2008

I visited a Urologist Tuesday and will have Testicular surgery this Thu or Fri. They think cancer, but won't know until the biopsy.