Merry Christmas 2011

Merry Christmas.

I am not a poet, nor am I a musician, but I can appreciate the medium of lyric and song through which others have expressed their heartfelt desires and feelings. Such is the experience on Brattle Street in Cambridge, just north of Boston, where within a lovely home there, during the mid 1800's a family lived with loving parents and children. It was the home of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. In fact, across the street from his home is a ward meetinghouse built nearly 100 years later.

In the summer of 1861, his wife, Fanny, was severely burned in a fire and she died the next day. As the following Christmas approaches, Longfellow writes, " How inexpressibly sad are all the holidays. 'A Merry Christmas' say the children, but that is no more for me. Perhaps someday God will give me peace."

Two years later, on Christmas Day 1863, soon after his eldest son was injured in the Civil War which tore our nation asunder, he wrote again heartfelt words that became a poem he titled "Christmas Bells." With renewed hope, after his deep despair, Longfellow realizes that a loving Heavenly Father has given us all hope through the atonement of His son, Jesus Christ.

As in that home in Cambridge the bells of Christmas brought the knowledge of a living God, so too, can we feel of His love and influence in our homes to bless us and give us eternal hope. That home may be not unlike your own. We all have trials in our lives. Many seem brief while others are ongoing. Same are small, some are overwhelming. No one is immune. The restored gospel of Jesus Christ brings us all renewed hope and promise.

The trials that Longfellow endured and the subsequent hope which inspired him in writing this hymn are reminiscent of the individual trials and everlasting grace and hope that we each may experience in our lives. Not only do we feel of the love of our Savior in knowing that the Spirit of Christmas is not dead, but that His power, love and influence can be there in our daily lives, to sustain us through ALL of our trials, large and small. The atonement of Jesus Christ covers our trials, our sorrows and our pain.

In the midst of our trials, let us always remember Him and His promise of redeeming love. Also, may we remember and pray for those around us, those within our circle of influence, those we come in contact with, and also for those whom we don't know who need His support.

I often tell my children that we never know all of whom we may influence. It may be those we work and live with on a daily, almost continual basis, or it may be someone who we meet in a fleeting moment. We are His angels; we are who He counts on to carry on His work and give His love. It may be "A voice, a chime, a chant sublime," but we are the ones to do His will.

I promise you that "God is not dead, nor doth he sleep; The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, With peace on earth, good will to men!"

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen

Hearing the Voice of the Spirit

I was reminded of an experience I had repeatedly in relation to my cancer. I had to have a port put into my chest to make it easier for my chemotherapy. Because of that port, I needed to visit the doctor at least once a month to have it flushed with heparin, an anti-clotting medicine. I had the port removed after six months; waiting for a couple of CT scans to be sure that the chemotherapy had taken the proper effect. So, for a time, I went to the doctor monthly and had the heparin flush. A needle would be inserted into the port, which ran into my veins and they would inject a small amount of heparin and flush the tube. As the heparin entered my veins, I would get a distinctive sense of a smell of the heparin. I have never smelled heparin, it was always in a closed syringe; however, as I described the smell to the nurses, they agreed that it was the smell of heparin. They even mentioned that some people say that they taste it.
In relating this experience, I liken it to our ‘hearing’ the voice of the Spirit when we are prompted. If, by having an injection of a medication I am able to smell it as if it were actually placed under my nose, what is to keep us from hearing a voice that guides and directs, in a very distinct manner, when the Holy Spirit talks to us. Because the Holy Ghost is a spirit, we are hearing with our physical ears a voice that is talking to our spirit. After that, it is up to us to listen and heed!

Way too much time has passed!

I still have faith; in myself, in my family, in my Faith.

Test & Pass

Today was a great milestone! And it ended with good news that my cancer is still fully in remission! I had an annual follow-up CT scan for my cancer. This was actually more emotionally trying than I thought.

I hate needles. I have always hated getting poked and prodded and stuck. And today I was stuck at least six times for various things. First, my morning shot of blood-thinning Lovenox. I usually do the morning injection, but my sweetheart will offer to if she is awake. Then, I had to register for my CT scan at the early hour of 7:30 am at the outpatient facility. I had a chest x-ray, which involved no needles; yeah! Since my scan was "with contrast," an injection that affects your kidneys, I had to have a blood test to see that my kidneys are functioning properly. Then, for the CT scan, I get to drink a smoothie of some sort of liquid that kind of cleans you out as well. Then, an IV for the contrast injection. I was done and at my desk by 10 am.

At 4pm, I was at the doctor's office awaiting the results of the scan and chest x-ray. But, of course, the blood suckers wanted a vial for a blood cell count and tumor markers. The first nurse tried, two or three times, but was unsuccessful. One of the chemo nurses then came and immediately recognized me as one of her vein-less patients. But she was successful on the first try.

After that, we met with the oncologist and he bore the good news that my lymph nodes are continuing to shrink and my cancer is fully in remission. In fact, he thought that I may now be able to get off of my Lovenox (blood thinner) and also for my next visit/check-up to only have a chest x-ray without the CT Scan, just the blood test for tumor markers! Nice!

Of course, I did have to end the day with my normal Lovenox and I need to finish out the doses I have.

I am so excited, relieved, glad, and happy, all in one!

Time to catch up

OK, it's not a New Year's resolution as much as just time to get back into doing what I should. I have not written regularly in a journal for WAY too long, so I'm going to use this as such.
Today was Stake Conference. It was fairly standard fare; nothing extraordinary, but at least it was spiritual and inspiring. Maybe that's what has me contemplating things that I should do. Also, last week at the BYU devotional, one of my all-time favorite Seventies: Elder Yoshihiku Kikuchi spoke. He reminded the students of the need for daily scripture study and prayer. Basically, he told them they need to have a daily devotional with themselves. I'm using my Religion class that I'm taking this semester as a way to accomplish that. I have an Isaiah class and it's really awesome.

Anyway, enough rambling, at least I've put down some thoughts and experiences. I'll need to get better at conveying my feelings and how I'm a recipient of so much from my Heavenly Father; all in due time.

Happy New Year!